 Draft theological review By the Office of Theology and Worship The Layman Online Friday, September 26, 2003 (Note: Many of the footnotes for this document were incomplete, as its principle writer, Dr. Charles Wiley, explained to the Advisory Committee on Social Witness Policy. They have been eliminated from this text, which Wiley intends to revise substantially.) Confessional and Biblical Framework Consideration of the family begins with the core documents of our faith: scripture and the confessions. Three and a half decades ago the Presbyterian Church was concerned about the place of interpersonal relations and family life within our culture. These concerns were lifted up in the Confession of 1967: The relationship between man and woman exemplifies in a basic way God's ordering of the interpersonal life for which God created humankind. Anarchy in sexual relationships is a symptom of alienation from God, neighbors, and self. The church, as the household of God, is called to lead people out of this alienation into the responsible freedom of the new life in Christ. Reconciled to God, people have joy in and respect for their own humanity and that of other persons; a man and woman are enabled to marry, to commit themselves to a mutually shared life, and to respond to each other in sensitive and lifelong concern; parents receive the grace to care for children in love and to nurture their individuality. The church comes under the judgment of God and invites rejection by society when it fails to lead men and women into the full meaning of life together, or withholds the compassion of Christ from those caught in the moral confusion of our time. [Confession of 1967, Inclusive Language Text 9.47]In referring to this basic ordering of human life that leads men and women into the full meaning of life together, the Confession of 1967 reflects the creation story in Genesis 2. In Genesis the relationship between man and woman is told in intimately relational terms: Then the man said,We encounter this passage of scripture most commonly in our Service of Christian Marriage: God created us male and female,Affirmation of the centrality of marriage in a study of the family is by no means a claim that marriage exhausts what the church means by family. The church upholds the importance of marriage between a man and a woman while not denigrating many other valid forms of family life. The language of the Confession of 1967 is instructive. The biological, nuclear family that is basic to human life and the worship of God is just that: basic. It is neither exhaustive nor exclusive. The biological, nuclear family does not ensure good family life. This is clear not simply from our experience, but by reflection on the very scriptural texts we rely on in establishing it. Genesis 2:23-24 is followed immediately by fractured relationship (Adam and Eve) and sibling rivalry that leads to fratricide (Cain and Abel). Moreover, there is absolutely no sense in scripture that those who live outside the biological, nuclear are necessarily sinful or living outside the will of God. Thus, while there is scriptural affirmation of this basic form of family life, there are also examples of other forms of human flourishing appropriate to the service of God. The household is both inclusive of the family yet goes beyond it. In biblical times the household was often the basic relational unit, including parents, children, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, and servants. Due to short life expectancy, the average household in Old Testament times numbered around seven or eight. Households of the elites may have been much larger, but the average Israelite did not live in large households. Such households functioned with the same kinds of kinship ties that we often reserve only for the nuclear family. Households are prominent in the New Testament as well. Most clearly reflected in the "house-tables" in Colossians and Ephesians, these instructions to families break the bounds of Roman world. While Roman house-tables focuses on the need for inferiors to obey superiors, the Pauline house-tables emphasize the mutual responsibility of all parties to one another. While traditional patterns of authority are maintained, we read of the importance of parents to not provoke their children as well as for children to obey their parents. Even more surprising is that the traditional injunction for slaves to obey masters is paired with "masters, do the same to them. Stop threatening them, for you know that both of you have the same Master in heaven, and with him there is no partiality." [Ephesians 6:9] Families are present all through the scriptures. In the Old Testament we have the dramatic stories of families in Genesis: Noah, Abraham and Sarah, Jacob and Esau, Naomi and Ruth, etc. The very fact that there are longs lists of "begats" in this narrative demonstrates the importance of clan ties. Jesus' reference to the marriage covenant in the Gospel, the injunctions in Paul to parents and children reflect the continuing importance of family. The scripture also provides examples of those whose single-minded devotion for God is expressed in never marrying at all. The first hints are in the lives of the prophets, and reach a more prominent place in the lives of John the Baptizer, the Apostle Paul, and Jesus himself. There is no hint that John the Baptizer or Jesus somehow lived less than a fulfilled life because they lacked a spouse or children. The bonds we associate with families are not restricted to persons with marital, biological, or genetic relation. Adoption is the clearest example. One who was not previously related is now fully in "family." Adoption is such a powerful witness to the extension of kinship bonds to those outside of biological relationship that it becomes a primary way of speaking of our relation to God, especially in the New Testament. For you did not receive a spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received a spirit of adoption. When we cry, "Abba! Father!" [Romans 8:15]Instead of an aberrant or unusual way to refer to relation, adoption becomes a controlling metaphor. Adoption is the norm for human relationship to God. Familial commitments are also extended to those outside the immediate family. This is apparent in the constant scriptural refrain to care for the widow and orphan. This refrain demonstrates both the need to care for those outside one's household, and that such care was not always exercised. This precept is echoed in the Second Helvetic Confession where Christians are enjoined to extend "familial piety" to families that have been affected by loss. Such an exhortation underscores a devotion to our families as expressions of our devotion to God and extends care to those outside our families as though they were bound to us by familial ties. All who marvel at the story of Naomi and Ruth understand that God is honored in familial ties that do not fit the basic pattern. Scripture also discloses "temporary households" in which people are committed to one another in order to achieve certain purposes. Jesus' disciples, Paul and Barnabas, and other covenanted, long-term friendships went beyond the normal bounds of friendship. One of the most striking characteristics of the biblical description of life in households is the absolute honesty about family struggles. From the story of the first family in Genesis, through David, to the scandal of Mary's pregnancy in the Gospels Scripture is authentically candid about the difficulties and feelings of human relationships. The scriptural narrative does not lift up every conceivable form of family life as a model, but instead show that God works through all our human frailty and sin. Perhaps the most dramatic instance is God's faithfulness to David despite his adulterous conquest of Bathsheba made possible through the murder of her husband, Uriah. [II Samuel 11] This observation gives us guidance for our own time. Our God is able to work in and through all kinds of families. Such an affirmation does not baptize every form of household, bit is instead an affirmation of the ultimate goodness of God. Nathan's confrontation of David with the prophetic word, "You are the man." demonstrates God's judgment against David's sin.[II Samuel 12:1-19] God's continual faithfulness to David demonstrates God's mercy. No account of family and household can ignore the words we find on Jesus lips that questions this account of families: "Whoever comes to me and does not hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters, yes, and even life itself, cannot be my disciple." [Luke 14:26]How are we to understand Jesus' shocking words that discipleship involves hating our dearest family members? Jesus' hyperbolic statement points to the cost of discipleship. No matter how dear our familial relationships are, there are numerous examples in the Bible and in church history of conflicts between familial commitments and service to God. Families can nurture us in the love of God, and families can be threatened by authentic devotion to God. Jesus' own life demonstrates that unswerving commitment to the ways of God can create distance in the family. Jesus' odd conversation with his mother at the Wedding at Cana, and his response to his mother and brothers when they come for him reflect this common tension. Jesus response to them is instructive: Someone told him, "Look, your mother and your brothers are standing outside, wanting to speak to you." But to the one who had told him this, Jesus replied, "Who is my mother, and who are my brothers?" And pointing to his disciples, he said, "Here are my mother and my brothers! For whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother." [Matthew 12:47-50]The family retains its importance, but as important is the possibility for extending familial bonds to those outside our marital or biological relationships. Few things are more primary in the New Testament understanding of relationships. An identity in which relation to God is even more fundamental than biological relationships. Christian Identity Our identities as Christians are formed in baptism and in a continual practice of discipleship. It is an identity that is not based on family origins, ethnic identity, or our gender, for we are one in Christ Jesus: As many of you as were baptized into ChristThe one to be baptized does not offer any merit, earned or inherited, in order to qualify for baptism. The ancient Christian practice of shedding all clothes in order to be baptized emphasized that we come to the font with nothing to offer but our very lives. In Baptism we believe that God acts to incorporate us into the church, to cleanse us from sin, to free us from death, to claim our identity as a child of God. Our acts are in response to the prior act of God, a covenant extended by us by God, incorporating us into Christ's body. Through baptism we enter the covenant God has established.At one level this incorporation into the body of Christ through baptism is "regardless." One is not worthy of baptism because of the prestige of one's family or the color of one's skin. The "worthiness" in baptism is Christ's, and we are able to receive baptism because of God's gracious gift to us given in the power of the Holy Spirit. Nonetheless in this holy sacrament, we are often surrounded by the commitments and ties of earthly families. Family life is not banished from this celebration, but instead it is placed in its proper context. This is seen most clearly in the baptism of children. Except in unusual circumstances one or both parents stand with the child, confess their faith, and make promises regarding the upbringing of the child: Relying on God's grace,The presence of the parents in this act of public worship is deeply Reformed. In medieval Europe baptisms were regularly performed by midwives with godparents presenting the children in a private service-parents almost never attended the baptisms of their children. Calvin insisted that parents present their children for baptism during services of public worship. In this way, the nurture of children in the family was placed in the context of the nurture of children in the church. Immediately, however, these family promises are put in the context of the wider community of faith. For the congregation also promises: Do you, as members of the church of Jesus Christ,When the congregation makes these commitments to the baptized, they do so regardless of their age or station. This underlines the basic understanding that all of us in the church are commissioned to a vocation. We are called to help each other to "grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ." But speaking the truth in love, we must grow up in everyThis all-encompassing vocation is not expressed in terms of the priority of the older for the younger, parents for children, or husband for wives. Young people have the vocation of helping older people grow in Christ, as do older people for younger. Children are called to be encouragement for their parent(s) to grow in Christ, as is the parent to the child. All members of a household have the same vocation toward one another and in regard to the household as a whole. The Vocation of Families Christian vocation is focused in particular ways on those in our families, people with whom we have lifelong irrational commitments. These are people with whom we find ourselves in relation. Unlike most of our associations – neighbors, co-workers, and friends – these are not people we have with us for a season of our lives, but people to whom we relate throughout our lives. Even in a highly mobile age, families are constants. In our families, all are called to encourage one toward Christ. Children to parents. Parents to children. Brothers to sisters. Sisters to brothers. Grandchildren to Grandparents. Uncles to nieces. Household members to other household members. sEven in an age of family planning, people have children for all kinds of reasons-many beyond rational articulation. Yet we go beyond all ordinary means to secure our children's welfare. Arranged marriages are relatively rare within our culture, yet they do occur. All this underlines the fact that being in a family is not a decision, we simply are. The difficulties in identity that folks without families experience are the exception that establishes the rule. But if families are human relationships that go beyond our decision making, and if we are called to encourage each other toward Christ, what must we be? What is required to move toward this vision of family life is not simply a commitment to one another, but the development of skills. The purpose of the family goes beyond just the cultivation of the gifts and talents of the individual members (although it includes that). It is for the development of the body toward its full identity. The telos lies outside the family, per se, in the full worship of God. Unsettled situation of families This paper would not be necessary if all was well with family life. There are unique pressures characteristic of our situation that must be faced. However, in trying to face these pressures, we must not presume that there was some golden age of family, an "Ozzie and Harriet" period where families were happy and stable. This is a romantic myth. There is no way to turn back the clock, nor is it even desirable. Both men and women found themselves trapped often by the way things were. From biblical times through most of our history, both men and women have contributed to the economy and parents have shared the rearing of children (often through distinct roles). The "Ozzie and Harriet" romantic picture barely existed at all, and only then for a very short time – within late capitalism and before the advent of womens' full participation in the market economy. There is no golden age to which we return. The Challenge Our challenge is to be faithful to this vocation of families in our time. The Confession of 1967 instructs us that we support the basic form of interpersonal relationships and those that differ from it. The basic form is not the only acceptable form of family, but such an affirmation does not mean all possible forms of family are equipped to live out this vocation. We are thus called to strengthen the vocation of families toward this end-recognizing that any form of family can be oppressive and/or destructive, but that some structures find it much harder to live out this vocation. Not all families and households are Christian, nor do all families and households desire to be Christian. Is the church's focus solely on those within the household of faith? Nothing could be further from authentic Christian discipleship. Our understanding of the value and vocation of families is rooted in the scripture and tradition. We must not apologize for this starting point. We must also recognize that we have a peculiar role in encouraging the vocation of families to those within our faith community, paying special attention to struggling families. The Confession of 1967 teaches that we are inextricably bound together with all people: God has created the peoples of the earth to be one universal family. In his reconciling love, God overcomes the barriers between sisters and brothers and breaks down every form of discrimination based on racial or ethnic difference, real or imaginary. The church is called to bring all people to receive and uphold one another as persons in all relationships of life: in employment, housing, education, leisure, marriage, family, church, and the exercise of political rights. Therefore, the church labors for the abolition of all racial discrimination and ministers to those injured by it. Congregations, individuals, or groups of Christians who exclude, dominate, or patronize others , however subtly, resist the Spirit of God and bring contempt on the faith which they profess. [Confession of 1967, Inclusive Language Text 9.44]Thus our reliance on our tradition to address the issues of families does not mean that we only minister to those within our tradition. It does not mean that we have no regard for the distinctive family traditions that arise out of other contexts. Nonetheless, we must avoid the temptation to move straight to public policy questions. These are crucial questions for the state of the family in the United States, but by moving too quickly to the political sphere it is easy to avoid our own responsibility and culpability for the current situation. We recognize the significant pressures that family life is under, and we realize the importance influence that government structures have upon family life, for good or for ill. Nonetheless, the first call of this vision of the family is embodiment: that Presbyterians would live out in their families, households, churches, and communities. Living out the calling to strengthen existing families, encourage the development of new, strong families, and to exercise compassionate ministry to struggling families and those that are breaking down. |
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