Evangelical marriages are
more likely to be egalitarian


Associated Baptist Press
Tuesday, September 7, 1999

PRINCETON, N.J. – Conservative-evangelical couples have more egalitarian marriages than their public rhetoric about male leadership might indicate, according to a new study.

Likewise, conservative-evangelical parents, while more likely than others to spank their children, are warmer and more loving than other parents, a related study finds.

The research by Bradford Wilcox and John Bartkowski is part of an ongoing study of family relations among evangelicals. Parts of this research recently have been published in the American Sociological Review and a journal called The Responsive Community.

Wilcox recently completed a fellowship at the Brookings Institution and is a doctoral student in sociology at Princeton. Bartkowski teaches sociology at Mississippi State University.

Evangelicals denounce "cultural elites" on the left and embrace pro-family rhetoric from the right, such as the Southern Baptist Convention's 1998 family statement declaring that wives should "graciously submit" to their husbands.

'Evangelical family paradox'
In what the authors call the "evangelical family paradox," however, researchers found that actual practice often confounds both trends.

"Evangelical family practice doesn't match evangelical family rhetoric," they report in The Responsive Community's summer issue. "When it comes to the practice of family life, evangelical men and women act in ways that parallel or are in fact more communitarian than other Americans."

Wilcox and Bartkowski say evangelical Christian couples are no different than other American couples in how they deal with family finances, child rearing, work decisions and division of household labor. They cite only two exceptions: evangelical couples are more likely to say the husband takes the lead in "spiritual matters," and evangelical couples are more likely than other American couples to report high levels of marital satisfaction.

Husbands as 'servant leaders'
They note that even the mainstream language used by conservative evangelicals has changed in recent years to talk about husbands as "servant leaders" rather than emphasizing their "headship."

That innovation "allows evangelical men and women to retain their allegiance to the symbolic authority of men even as they adopt behaviors more in keeping with the norms of their non-evangelical friends, neighbors and coworkers," the researchers explain. "Moreover, it allows evangelicals to express – symbolically if not practically – their moral superiority over these very same non-evangelical friends, neighbors and coworkers."

To illustrate the "paradox" of evangelical family life, Wilcox and Bartkowski focus on what they find to be a more loving, warm and involved parenting style among evangelical mothers and fathers.

"When it comes to parenting, evangelicals – especially evangelical men – are in many ways more communitarian than other Americans," they report. "The single exception to this pattern is that evangelical parents spank their toddlers and preschoolers more often than other parents."

Warmth and affection
Despite their fondness for corporal punishment, evangelicals display more warmth and affection to their children, they add. "We find that evangelical mothers praise and hug their children more often than do other mothers. More surprisingly, we also find that evangelical fathers are more likely to practice this kind of expressive parenting.

"In fact, we find that evangelical fathers are more involved with their children than other fathers. They have dinner with their children and volunteer for youth activities like soccer and Scouts more than other fathers."

Wilcox analyzed these parenting factors in depth by isolating data from the National Survey of Families and Households, a huge database gathered in 1987 and 1988 that covers a broad range of topics.

Among his findings:
  • "Theological conservatism is associated with a greater propensity to praise and hug one's preschool children very often." In fact, the more conservative a person is classified theologically, the greater the likelihood he or she hugs and praises children, he found.
  • The same increase in hugging and praising was found in evangelical parents of school-aged children.
  • This increase in hugging and praising children is not due solely to more evangelical mothers staying home with their children nor to more frequent church attendance reported by evangelical families, although those factors may have some influence on school-aged children.
  • It's not membership in a conservative evangelical church that makes a difference but identifying with the core religious ideology of such churches.
  • Greater warmth in parenting by evangelicals has been fueled by evangelicals' embrace of church-based psychological and therapeutic ideals, such as those advanced by James Dobson and Focus on the Family.
'Neo-traditional style'
In conclusion, Wilcox notes that "a distinctive neo-traditional parenting style has emerged among the most culturally committed conservative Protestants."

"This style is traditional in that it maintains the classical Protestant emphasis on the sinfulness of human nature and the attendant need for strict framing rules to address child misbehavior," he explains. "However, it may be viewed as innovative in that it harnesses theological and psychological values to framing rules that dictate a warm, expressive style of parenting for most parent-child interaction."
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