Becoming 'healing, listening communities' By Robert P. Mills The Layman Online Wednesday, November 1, 2000 "It is virtually impossible to take a position on [homosexuality] without being controversial," said Joe Dallas. "Controversy for its own sake is a sin. Controversy for the sake of the truth is a divine mandate. As is relevancy. We are called a lot of things, and it will get worse. But one of the worst things we can be called is irrelevant. We are called to speak truth in a way that is relevant to the crisis of our time." Dallas, founder and director of Genesis Counseling Center in Orange, Calif., was the keynote speaker at "The Church's Response to Sexual Conflict: Becoming Healing, Listening Communities," a conference sponsored by OneByOne, held Oct. 20-22 Bethany Collegiate Presbyterian Church in Havertown, Pa. Past president of Exodus International and the author of Desires in Conflict and A Strong Delusion, Dallas said he spoke as "a missionary reporting back to the church." The need for repentance He issued a three-fold call to repentance: "To effectively address any moral issue in our culture the Church must first repent of whatever immorality exists within our own walls and recommit ourselves to Biblical standards of holiness." "Second, I believe God would call the church to repent of hostility towards homosexual people. And I believe he would call us to recommit ourselves to bold love." "Finally, having recognized hostility and our own immorality, the body of Christ must repent of being intimidated by the gay rights movement and we must recommit ourselves to our prophetic role." The trap of pornography The conference was designed to "educate and equip churches and individuals to minister the transforming grace and power of Jesus Christ to individuals in conflict with their sexuality." While much of the teaching focused on homosexual orientation and behavior, issues of heterosexual abuse, sexual addiction and pornography were also addressed. In his workshop "The Trap of Pornography and Sexual Addiction," David Longacre, a Presbyterian minister who is now discipleship coordinator for Harvest USA [www.harvestusa.org], defined the Greek word porneia as "Anything the heart uses to promote sexual expression outside of God's intended design for relational intimacy." To illustrate the extent of the problem Longacre said that there are 25,000 stores in the U.S. that sell pornography but only 9,000 McDonalds. He noted that 20 million people visit Internet porn sites each month; 200,000 spend 11 hours per week visiting such sites. Moreover, 69 percent of all paid content on the Internet is adult content. "Think of that in terms of Amazon.com and Priceline.com," he said. The Church is able, and must be willing, to offer God's healing to those in bondage to pornography, Longacre said, and he offered "five tools, five insights that may help you and help you with other people." The first is motivation. God said "Be holy because I am holy." The second is replacing bad habits. "We have to fill the vacuum left by old patterns of sins, or we will fall right back into them." Third, memorize Scripture. Fourth, preach grace to yourself. And finally, "Accountability. We can't get out of sin without other believers pulling us out." The homosexual struggle "For the individual with sexual conflict," said Theresa Latini, OneByOne's executive director, "the battle between the flesh and the spirit is truly fierce." She opened her workshop "Overview of the Homosexual Struggle" by noting that "In my experience and understanding the homosexual struggle is not primarily sexual at core. It is rather rooted in emotional and relational struggles." The repentant homosexual, she said, recognizes that homosexuality is not God's will. Such individuals desire to live in obedience to God, but are often living in shame and fear of rejection. "Unfortunately, their needs have largely been forgotten. We need to respond to them with care, support and ministries of healing." Our congregations, she said, need to become "healing, listening communities. Let us present balanced teaching on the normative Christian life. Too often we have not been honest about the prevalence of suffering and sin and the need for discipline and grace. Being honest about these fuels genuine corporate renewal." "Caring for people who struggle with their sexuality requires authenticity, teachability, availability and compassion," Latini concluded. Steps toward transformation In his Sunday morning sermon Dallas spoke about "The work of transformation of sexual brokenness" listing three steps: 1) A crisis of truth; 2) a valley of despair; and 3) a new vision. A crisis of truth, he said, "seems to be the pattern of God's intervention with humanity." Often God sends an internal crisis to lead us to let go of a certain sin. "We would do well to respond to this. For if we don't, God will often send an external crisis." God gives us space to repent, but "Some understand the lack of consequence as permission to continue. At that point, like any good father, God says, 'I can't allow this to continue' and he lifts the veil of protection." This crisis leads to a valley of despair, such as Peter experienced after denying that he even knew Jesus. "In my valley of despair," Dallas acknowledged, "I became suicidal. But that valley finally yielded true repentance, the realization that to be sorry for sin is not enough, we must turn to a new way of life." One emerges from despair with a new vision, which is the result of "our helplessness combined with God's grace. God's intention turns our desire for achievement on its head. He says that our weakness is precious in his sight. When Peter was brought to the end of himself he reached the point of usefulness, which he couldn't recognize." "Our inability to relate to individual sins should never inhibit our ability to relate to other sinners," Dallas concluded. Barnabas, for example, couldn't relate to Paul's sin, but, sinner to sinner, he could relate to Paul. Entering the mission field of those in conflict with their sexuality "asks a lot of the local church – friendship. But it is in the local church, the body of Christ, that the sexually broken find true healing and wholeness."

Respond to this article

News From the PCUSA Home · News · PLC Publications · The Presbyterian Layman Online Reviews · Archives · History of the Lay Committee · Feedback · Links