 Foundations of the Faith
Foundations of the
Faith explores and
explains As we forgive our debtors By Robert P. Mills, The LaymanVolume 35, Number 6, Posted December 2002 |
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Do I have to forgive others before God will forgive me? If I believe I have forgiven someone but there still hasn’t been a reconciliation between us, is my forgiveness genuine? And why should I have to forgive others when I am the one who has been wronged? The fifth petition of the Lord’s Prayer begins “Forgive us our debts.” It ends, “as we forgive our debtors.” It is a petition that has much to teach us about the relationship between being forgiven and being forgiving. Cause and effect Much of what we learn hinges on a proper understanding of the word “as.” In technical terms, the “as” is not causal. In less technical terms, Jesus is not teaching his disciples that forgiving others causes (let alone requires or forces) God to forgive us. At the very core of Christianity lies the reality that, as sinful human beings, we are utterly unable to reconcile ourselves to a holy God. Nothing we can do, not even forgiving others, can earn God’s forgiveness. God’s decision to forgive our sins is an act of grace. Paul expressed this truth with great clarity: “But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions … For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God – not by works, so that no one can boast” (Eph. 2:4-5, 8-9). To reverse the order of forgiveness, to assume that we must forgive in order to be forgiven, is to abandon the gift of grace in order to assume the unbearable burden of work’s righteousness. Unless we realize that we have been forgiven by God, we will find forgiving others a wearisome task, one that far exceeds our own strength. Reconciliation Forgetting the priority of God’s forgiveness is not the only stumbling block Christians face in learning how to forgive. Confusing forgiveness with reconciliation can hinder us as well. In Let Jesus Heal Your Hidden Wounds, Cindy Strickler offers an important reminder when she assures us that “it is possible to forgive and release a person who has hurt us and not experience reconciliation.” She continues, “Reconciliation requires both forgiveness and changes on both sides (not just within the victim). In some cases this may be impossible. For instance, offenders who have already died or who have refused to accept responsibility will be unable to do their part in restoring the relationship. Many people have been blocked in giving forgiveness because they believe God always calls them to be reconciled. He does not!” Having reconciled us to himself in Christ, God does indeed call us to forgive. However, just as our acts of forgiveness are not the way we earn his forgiveness, so we are not responsible for the attitudes and actions of those we have forgiven. Rather, forgiving others is the way we are to live in response to having been forgiven by God. Forgiven and forgiving While some have understood Jesus’ words following the Lord’s Prayer (Matt. 6:14-15) to mean that individuals will be forgiven by God if and only if they first forgive others, that interpretation, as we have seen, runs counter to the message of the gospel. These words must instead be read in the light of Matthew 18:21-35. In this parable, a servant who owes the king several million dollars is forgiven his unpayable debt. But the forgiven servant soon has a fellow servant jailed for failing to repay a small amount. When the king hears of this, he hands the unforgiving servant over to the jailers. The point of the parable is plain: Having been forgiven, we are to be forgiving. As servants of the King, as those who have been forgiven a debt we could never repay, we are to treat the King’s other servants as he has treated us. Spiro Zodhiates frankly observes, “Let us never ask God to treat us even as we treat others, for we shall be sorry indeed. … He forgives freely, and so must we. Let us not for one moment think that we can set ourselves up as an example to God. He does not need to imitate us, but we need to imitate him.” One way to imitate God is to “Forgive as the Lord forgave you” (Col. 3:13). One way to bring to mind our constant need to conform this part of our lives to God’s will is to pray, “Forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors.” |
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